Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
