just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
