no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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