Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
