i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
