Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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