In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
