Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You need Xanax blowdarts
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
