So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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