Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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