drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
