Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
