I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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