Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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