she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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