My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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