after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
