She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
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Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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