I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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