Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
