just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize