When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
