You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
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