PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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