Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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