So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
