cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize