Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
