id be glad to
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
