dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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