bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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