I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
