so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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