You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
