I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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