brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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