The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
