It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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