you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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