you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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