Banned from zoo.
Again?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
