it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
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the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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