If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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