and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You're like the curious george of whores
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm at about main and main street
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
