there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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