Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Randomize
