How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
