Umm I'm too high to move.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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