Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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