i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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