I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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