He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
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Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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