ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
