Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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