4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
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he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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