Pants 0. Shit 1.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
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I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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