u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
