have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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