This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
