i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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