I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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