I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
