Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
